Esthetician

Holding space and letting go…-Therapeutic Skin Coach

I’ve been so excited to come to back to this very spot and write to all of you for this week’s post. As much as I want to jump on the bandwagon of writing a gift guide or a holiday how-to, it’s a little overplayed and I’m a little late in the game. My intention behind this post is to talk about space. Whether it’s holding it, giving it, receiving it or simply understanding your need for it – it is an essential part of growth and healing. Space is something I have often not allowed myself the time to have for many reasons that at the end of the day are all fear based. I don’t give myself time to relax, be alone, or just not busy often because I’ve been nervous about what will come up for me. While on my honeymoon I finally got it, that space I was seeking and so much came up for me.

The first lesson that came up for me is a very specific language that I find has created a trigger for me. The language I’m speaking of is the language of “should”. “You should visit this place…”, “You should eat this food…” and then the language of “shouldn’t” really digs deeper. “You shouldn’t do this…”, “You shouldn’t do that…” really irritates the hell out of me. So my process of avoidance seems to just allow me to let those triggers fly over my head instead of force me to think about the why.

We all have our triggers and it’s clear when I work on someone when I’ve hit it, they get defensive or start shying away from our conversation. It’s never intentional for me to make someone feel uncomfortable or triggered but unfortunately when we dive into health, it’s such a vulnerable experience that some aspect of it will surface. Overtime I have tried really hard to cultivate a language that feels acceptable to all walks of life and I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had that have taught me what not to say just as much as what to say. It’s a little mortifying to think back on my younger self with no real professional training in how to hold space when someone is breaking down in your care. That word again, space, is such a valuable part of this journey for all involved. It’s really difficult to understand the intricacies of space in such a vulnerable exchange that all it takes is practice.


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