Esthetician

if healing is what we’re striving for, then why is it so triggering?-Therapeutic Skin Coach

The word healing is actually quite controversial in the skincare world. Why? Because there is no product, procedure, or program that can truly be measured for 100% accuracy. 

Sure, some ingredients can HAVE natural healing properties, procedures can ENCOURAGE healing to occur, and programs can LEAD you down a path TOWARDS healing, but ultimately it’s not a perfectly measurable thing. It looks, feels, and identifies itself differently for all of us. 

So when I’m asked if I’m a healer, my answer is yes but of my own life and no one else’s. My work facilitates the safe space for healing that someone is seeking within themselves. They are ultimately the ones who take the steps towards whatever their version of healing is. 

At first, taking a break seemed like it was going to be the most rejuvenating thing ever. I envisioned myself having a picturesque retreat where I would accomplish all of my personal goals, get tons of self-care, have lunch with all of my girlfriends, read all the books, etc. I thought that I could just manage to POOF be okay overnight! But really, I put up a mirror to myself in order to find the darkest parts of me desperate for even a little attention. The shadow parts that I’m humiliated and ashamed of, yet they are still always there covered deeply in fear. 

I was terrified to take a break as it seemed like everything on the surface was going well. It physically felt like I was walking off of a cliff the moment I shut myself off to the world. I took a break because I was exhausted and unknowingly running away from myself. I had been living with an undiagnosed chronic illness and feeling like I was going insane, at times dying, and completely alone since doctors kept telling me I was fine. I studied fear a lot during my break and found that pretty much all of the physical symptoms of illness that I experienced throughout my lifetime have a root of fear in them. My body was riddled in fear, some from my own trauma, a lot from the trauma of others that I take on in my work, and even some from my ancestors.

After the first few days of my hiatus announcement, it became clear to me that this break was not going to be picturesque after all. I had to basically practice what I preach by stepping out of myself and coach my health and mental wellbeing as if I were a facial client. It was the only way I could give myself some grace during the particularly dark days. 


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